I love these posts so much because I am able to write down all the little special moments in our lives, and remember them when my little babies are all grown up and no longer want mummy all the time. However, with all the special memories we create, I will make no illusion to say there are no tough times. There are, and they happen frequently, after all, I am a mummy to two boys under 3, and although I feel that dealing with a newborn is rather easy, when you mix it in with a toddler, it becomes less so.
This week has been difficult. Really difficult. I feel like I hit a brick wall of exhaustion this week that has just smothered me, and made me lose all motivation. My house is a mess, I’ve not been very patient, I’ve not been very playful, and just generally entered the ‘bad mothering’ zone. I don’t really know why, I think it’s just a mixture of running after a toddler who is going through a challenging stage. I’m a worrier, and Finlay has been going through a ‘terrible twos’ stage, and everything I say or do he just completely ignores. He climbs everything, and is really into throwing. I’m just so fed up with telling him off, and I worry I have made him this way? Is this my fault? Maybe I don’t play with him as much as I should, tell him off too much, don’t explain things well enough, lose my patience far too easily, don’t laugh as much as I should, am on my phone too often. All these things just go around in my head, and I’m really finding it difficult, and this week has just felt like one massive fail.
I know it will get easier, and as the days go on I will pick myself back out of this horrid mood I’m in. I’m so blessed to have two beautiful boys who I adore more than anything, but sometimes you fall down a little. I am really hoping I will find this week a little easier, and enjoy it a bit more.