Saying It As It Is

It seems more often than not lately I’ve felt overwhelmed by lots of different things. I think its a mix of the boys getting older which means that the two of them together can seem a bit of handful. However I think I have to blame that at times I just feel extremely unmotivated and just plain lazy. I’ve felt for a while now that I don’t do enough with my boys, getting them out of the house or just generally playing with them in the day.

I feel like these two boys of mine are growing in the blink of an eye, and I definitely don’t feel I appreciate every second as much as I perhaps should. Don’t get me wrong I try. I tell myself every single day to do more, and appreciate my time more with the boys, but I really really struggle with that sometimes. It’s not that I don’t want to, because of course I do, but on the same hand, I am tired. Really bloody tired sometimes. I’m tired of house work, I’m tired of making sure the 3 meals a day are as good as possible (which often result as fish fingers and chips), I’m tired of being climbed all over, and my hair being tugged. Motherhood is not glamorous I’ll give you that. By the end of the day I remember I haven’t drank or been for a wee in probably around 12 hours. I’m tired of saying no and repeating every single sentence near on 20 times, I’m tired of washing, and fighting a baby that doesn’t understand why I want to change his nappy (I’m sorry darling but its not massively fun to me either).

All these things are just examples of what occurs on a daily basis, and they sound like minor complaints, and that’s because they are. It only becomes tiring because it’s what happens day in and day out, and when you’re feeling pretty bloody tired anyway, due to being a human being, then these minor things can seem endless tiresome pains in the arse.

I’ve seen a lot recently on social media of people perhaps insinuating that parents don’t appreciate their children enough because some of these people choosing to use a voice. A lot of these posts have nothing to do with appreciating children, nor does it ever come into a parents head that they don’t love or care for their children.

I really do understand that there are people in the world that aren’t fortunate to have children, and I cannot even begin to imagine that heart break, nor would I ever ever intend to offend anyone who couldn’t have children of their own. I don’t even feel that really comes into it when I’m complaining about being tired or fed up that day. However I think what parents are trying to do is let it out, let other parents know its completely ok to not be on the parenting game 1000% of the time, no one is perfect, no one can have a solid instagram worthy day every single day.

I let my child have a lolly as part of his breakfast this morning. Am I proud of that? Of course not, but what I am proud of is the fact that no matter what, I will always be here when they need me, I am raising them the way I believe is right for them, I am trying my best even at my worst, and despite anything that’s thrown in my way, I will ALWAYS put my children first. Surely that’s got to count for something when I’m having a tough day?

Today I took my boys to the park, went to get a cupcake and came home to watch films. Today I had a good day. Don’t get me wrong I still get pretty miffed about the hair grabbing and endless housework, but it isn’t as intensified when you have a good day is it? I will treasure my boys until I am no more, but I will also always let out the odd swear word under my breath when I cant be arsed. Parenthood hey?

Also whilst at the park I managed to take some pretty beautiful (not far off being pinterest worthy, but not quite) photos of these boys of mine, but I want anyone who sees these photos to not be fooled. For these are just happy moments captured in the whirl wind that is my life with my two beautiful yet feisty little boys, who I will love unconditionally even if at 40 I have no hair left!

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Chloe x

 

My Top 5 Ways To Amuse The Kids

I seem to always get stuck with what to do with my little brood to keep them amused and content, as if I’m being honest, Finlay especially is a child that very much needs constant stimulation if not he begins to get a little bored, fed up, and ends up being a bit naughty in order to get that attention, I’m not sure if it’s a first child thing? Jacob is very happy to just potter around amusing himself with his toys etc, but I absolutely love to get out and take them places so we can do different activities to keep them both amused, but lets be honest, you cannot go out every single day, and at times I’m afraid my little darlings will just have to be bored. Even though that does mean I end up suffering the cabin fever consequences!

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I thought I would put together some things I love to do with my two littles when we have spare time in case you feel in a similar situation to me in that, most days, you just cannot think of anything to do.

Soft Play

I think this one is a given for most parents who are stuck for ideas on what to do with their littles for a couple of hours, but I must say it’s a goodun! I find soft play (although unbelievably stressful at times) a god send. It’s perfect for a rainy day, the kids have so much fun running around like wild animals, it diminishes cabin fever, and at the end of it they are absolutely shattered (including us). This is definitely my top go to on a rainy day!

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The Garden Centre

Our local garden centre is called Dobbies, and I must admit I am guilty of being there 2-3 times a week sometimes, but it is linked to a Tesco Extra so that’s ok.. I am ‘doing the shopping’ too. Although I am in there far too often, the kids absolutely love it, and I find it a great way to get them out of the house. They have a little café in their with a play area which sorts them kiddie lunch times out that I can never be bothered to do (does anybody else find making 3 meals a day tedious? Don’t Judge!), but not only that, they sell fish, and rabbits which makes for a great mini aquarium visit and a coo over the fluffy rabbits.

The Park – Going For A Walk

This is fab for when the weather is a little nicer, we haven’t been to the park since well before Christmas as its been a bit wet, and the days its usually dry and nice, I am probably at work, so I cannot wait for more settled/warmer weather so I can take the kids out to the park or up to Sandringham where we can walk and play for a few hours. There’s nothing better than fresh air, Finlay absolutely loves the park and walking around exploring, he gets so excited. Jacob is only just starting to get a bit steadier on his feet so i’m hoping as Spring comes in he will be able to walk about rather than being lugged about or in his pushchair bless him!

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Baking

If I’m honest, our baking is nothing to wow, it’s usually just a pre-made cupcake mix from Tesco. I have also been known to buy the fairy cakes from there and just decorate those. Either way Finlay loves to make and decorate them. He loves mixing the mixture, adding the ingredients and just generally being involved in it all. Such a simple way to break up or day which is definitely needed at times!

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Local Farm

This one again, is for when the weather brightens up a little, but our local farm is brilliant for Fin & Jacobs age. Walking around looking at all of the different animals, having a run around, going on the ride on tractors, playing in the soft play area, they even have trampolines! It’s not the cheapest way to amuse the kids but its definitely a good one, you can spend quite a while at these sorts of places so it can really pass the time.

 

I find these Winter months so difficult in terms of amusing my littles, but I don’t think I’m alone in saying that. I just find it so much harder to think of indoor activities, especially lately as it has been SO cold! Here’s to longer days and warmer weather!

Chloe x

 

 

Finlay At 3 Years Old & A Little Video!

My darling little boy. How is it possible for me to be writing about you at 3 years old? It seems only a short while a go I cradled you, fed you, changed your nappies, dressed you up like some sort of possession, but now it seems those things are firmly gone. Not from memory, but most definitely in reality.

Now it seems you don’t need time for much at all. I’m not sure if it’s because you have a little brother who is still firmly dependant on me so you seem extra grown up. You don’t even like me to take you to the loo anymore, I mean that’s fair enough because let’s face it, it’s a pretty private matter, but still it’s yet another thing you don’t need me for, and I won’t lie, it hurts mummy’s heart an awful lot sometimes.

Dont get me wrong, as much as you growing up breaks me, I am full of pride as I watch you. Watching you learn to face the world which sometimes feels so scary is something you inevitably must do on your own, and it seems you’re taking it all in that stride of yours, you are such a confident little man, you’ll say hello to almost anyone, you love to wave and talk to people, and it makes mummy a little mad that there are people who completely blank you! (Who does that?!).

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You’ve just started your second term at nursery and you absolutely love it. You have the biggest smile walking in there, and equally the biggest as you leave. You love to paint & colour, but I think your favourite is pretending to cook people meals in your kitchen and bring it to them “eat your breakfast mummy”, “you want some more?”, I could listen to you all day, well let’s be honest, I do! As from the minute those beautiful eyes ping open you are quite literally a non stop chatterbox until you shut them again at bedtime! Me and your daddy always joke about where an earth you would get such a trait from (it’s 100% daddy).

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However, let’s not be fooled, there are a fair few days when you and I seem to bump heads! You can be a little mare when you choose to be, and you aren’t a fan of listening to mummy when she tells you off, I mean I do go on a little, but still my sweetheart, just humour me at least! You aren’t a huge fan of sharing either at the moment, and if I’m honest I know it can be annoying that your little brother wants absolutely everything that you are playing with, but please understand that mummy doesn’t perhaps tell him off the same because he’s a bit too little to fully understand, but in the near future I guarantee he will.

Food. You aren’t big on meals at the moment(ever), but mummy is telling herself it’s a little phase and is just riding it out for now. You’ll of course eat all the rubbish in the world, but when it comes to actual meals they’re a challenge to get into you. We’ll get there though, I know we will.

Please can I just sorry? Sorry for not always having enough patience, or not giving you enough attention, or snapping at you just because I’ve had a bit of an off day in general, or not spending enough quality time with you, or not reading you just one more story at bed time (you do have 3 though!)

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I love you, more than I ever imagined I could. From the moment I found out we were expecting you, you were my entire world. I am so proud of the little boy you are growing up to be. You are so sweet and so caring of others and that really makes my heart smile.

I love you my little Finny-bobs, forever & always

Mummy & Daddy x

 

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME A PARENT?

I think this question has to be one the most asked questions before or even during pregnancy. I find this question extremely hard to answer, as I believe there are so so so many factors every first time parent considers when making the decision to try for a baby, or even considers them once they find out they’re pregnant (& for the next 9 months – 18 years).

I am a ‘young mum’. There’s no doubt about that fact, I am 23 years old and have a 2 year old and 4 month old. I understand that it’s a very young age to have two children, and trust me I get the label a lot, which is fine because it is true. The only thing that bothers me about being put into this so called ‘catergory’ is that I think people assume that just because I am young means that I wasn’t ready, or I am naïve about how difficult it is having two young children. Which then leads me to my ultimate question.

Are you ready to become a parent?

No. I wasn’t. Materialistically speaking, yes I was completely, I had everything I needed, I had everything I wanted for my new little bundle of joy. Emotionally? I mean I had done all research physically possible, I’d looked up every single bit of information I thought I’d ever need to absolutely nail this whole parenting thing. However once the baby was born, I realised just how much I wasn’t expecting. I knew the nights would be tough, but not that tough. I knew my baby would cry a lot when he needed feeding/changing/burping etc, but I didn’t anticipate that he would just cry for the sake of crying, and for a long time too. I know our lives would change forever, but I just never anticipated just really how much they would, I mean having a newborn baby is pretty much a house bound scenerio. I knew it would be expensive, I knew I would need to buy lots and lots of nappies and formula. However I didn’t consider just how much I would spend at Christmas and birthdays, and as for my wardrobe? Goodbye Topshop, hello Tesco F&F! I’ve heard a lot of people say how their kids are so much better dressed than they are, and I can confirm that this is true.

But is all of that really because of my age? We were married, we owned a house, we had good jobs with a good income, we had a huge support system, so why shouldn’t I have made the decision with my husband to start a family, just because I was young?

Yes I could’ve gone travelling, and I could’ve continued going out every weekend. However, to me and my husband, none of that even comes close to what we have now. The nights out, and carefree lifestyle, to me are nothing to what I feel for my two little boys. The love I feel for them, the sheer enjoyment of dressing them in nice clothing, the fun we have at Christmas and family holidays, the weekends spent at Farmer Freds, or some other animal/soft play attraction, their faces at Christmas and birthdays. They are what really matter in my life.

I genuinely don’t believe no matter what age you are, nothing, and I mean you can go to every NCT class going, read every book, but until that baby comes, I really don’t believe anything will ever prepare you, not only for how truly difficult it is, but how utterly amazing it is too.

Chloe x

How do you cope with a ‘Threenager’?

Ok.. so towards the end of 2016, my biggest little one had become a little on the difficult(beyond ruthless) side. Fingers crossed since Christmas has gone he seems to have gone back to his old ways, but I wont hold my breath just yet.

During this time however both me and my husband were at a point where we literally did not know what to do, from the naughty step not working, to threatening Father Christmas wouldn’t come, just absolutely nothing seemed to work, and he to be quite honest just wasn’t bothered about any discipline method we tried. I wanted to write this post not for me to reflect on or anything to do with us really, but to perhaps help another parent who feels they are failing at every single aspect of parenting. I have been in that dark hole so many times, and it can feel like the loneliest, most self destructive place, but I want to reassure anyone who may be reading this and feel the same that my gosh you are not alone in the slightest.

I don’t feel I can help you in terms with how to overcome it, because I don’t know. I tried what felt like everything through this point. From ignoring the behaviour, explaining why certain things weren’t acceptable, raising my voice, the naughty step, taking away things such as toys, I even got to a point one day where I shut him in his room, now it was only for a second whilst I stood outside the door, and the guilt I felt was just unreal, but I was at my lowest, and I think desperation sometimes kicks in a bit, and you can lose sense of rationality.

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I think the best way to cope with all these behavioural stages that these littles seem to go through endlessly is to remember you are only human, everybody copes differently, we all have different ways of parenting that not necessarily everyone agrees with, but if its working for you, don’t be judged, and don’t let a comment knock you. You are your childs parent and you know what is best for them.

This phase has by far been the most testing. I thought ‘terrible twos’ was bad, but then my little got smarter, and somewhat fearless! Everything from not listening to a single thing anyone says, laughing at being told off (that really pushes the buttons), jumping on every bit of furniture we own, not eating meals – this is still ongoing and beyond tiring, pushing his brother, and refusing to share, it has just seemed an endless cycle, and I think what makes it a bit worse is that he was only like it with us, not grandparents, or at nursery, we’d get the “he’s been an angel” comment, and it felt like our heads were imploding! What? Do we imagine it? Does he hate us? What are we doing so wrong?

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But the bottom line is we aren’t doing it wrong, he doesn’t hate us, and we are not imagining it. He’s a child. He’s growing and learning every single day, yes he will have these phases, it doesn’t make them any easier when you’re in the peak of one, but they will come out of it in their own time, and as parents we just cope and get through them.

Being a parent is HARD, really bloody hard. But at the same time it’s the single best thing I have ever ever achieved in my life. My little ‘threenager’ past all of the attitude and naughtiness, is the sweetest, most caring, clever little man. I couldn’t possible explain my love for him. I think I need to stop trying to work these things out, because there is no answer, no solution. It’s a part of parenthood, and one I feel very grateful be a part of.

 

Here’s to the next sodding phase!

Chloe x

 

 

FINLAY – 2 YEARS 3 MONTHS

Being new to the blogging world, I obviously haven’t kept a little diary of how my little boys are growing, so I thought I would begin now, as a way for me to look back  and see what their little personalities are like at certain ages. They are growing far too quickly and I want to remember so much of their little lives.

My biggest boy. My first baby, the one who I’m learning with every single day about how parenting goes, and what I should and shouldn’t be doing. He is the one teaching me this whole parenting malarkey. I must say he is an angel (most of the time). We have been going through a bit of a tough stage, with tantrums coming from all directions, screaming, the good ol’ toddler selective hearing, and just general toddler behaviour, but I must say that it is quite rare and more often than not he is an absolute angel.

Finlay has always been such a brilliant eater, and I’m really pleased to be able to say that he still is. We luckily haven’t reached the picky eating stage, and I’m hoping we are the lucky few who don’t! My boy will literally eat anything that’s put in front of him, and I have to say that fruit is definitely at the top of his must haves! (Along with kinder eggs) woops! He is feeding himself most of the time, but I have to admitt I’m awful for feeding him when we have spaghetti Bolognese and messy things like that! I think I’ve just gotten myself in a bad habit!

I’ve really noticed Finlays speech is coming on so well, he can say lots of words, and is now putting sentences together, however there are some words where he cant quite get to grips with the sounds of the letters, but things like this never worry me as I know all little ones learn things at their own pace. Finlay hasn’t started nursery yet, but we have FINALLY booked him a place in September. We left it a little too late, and the waiting lists for nurseries in the town I live in is ridiculous. I cant wait for him to start, I think he is so ready, and I think it will build his confidence no end. Finlay is very shy when it comes to meeting new people and tends to hold back a lot, something I think he gets from me! I really think nursery will help this and help him to feel a little more confident in front of others.

Dancing and singing is something Finlay absolutely adores and is definitely taking daddys taste in music! He absolutely loves take that (my husband will kill me for that), but its so sweet! he can actually sing the words, and follow the tune of the music, he’s also really clever at picking up dance routines! Something I think is really quite clever for his age, to be able to copy what the people are doing in the music videos is quite hard, I don’t even think I could do!

I am so so proud of how he is growing and the kind hearted person he is becoming. I cannot believe just how quickly he is growing up. I wish I could just stop time and have him at this age forever. He really is such a sweetie.

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Chloe x