Saying It As It Is

It seems more often than not lately I’ve felt overwhelmed by lots of different things. I think its a mix of the boys getting older which means that the two of them together can seem a bit of handful. However I think I have to blame that at times I just feel extremely unmotivated and just plain lazy. I’ve felt for a while now that I don’t do enough with my boys, getting them out of the house or just generally playing with them in the day.

I feel like these two boys of mine are growing in the blink of an eye, and I definitely don’t feel I appreciate every second as much as I perhaps should. Don’t get me wrong I try. I tell myself every single day to do more, and appreciate my time more with the boys, but I really really struggle with that sometimes. It’s not that I don’t want to, because of course I do, but on the same hand, I am tired. Really bloody tired sometimes. I’m tired of house work, I’m tired of making sure the 3 meals a day are as good as possible (which often result as fish fingers and chips), I’m tired of being climbed all over, and my hair being tugged. Motherhood is not glamorous I’ll give you that. By the end of the day I remember I haven’t drank or been for a wee in probably around 12 hours. I’m tired of saying no and repeating every single sentence near on 20 times, I’m tired of washing, and fighting a baby that doesn’t understand why I want to change his nappy (I’m sorry darling but its not massively fun to me either).

All these things are just examples of what occurs on a daily basis, and they sound like minor complaints, and that’s because they are. It only becomes tiring because it’s what happens day in and day out, and when you’re feeling pretty bloody tired anyway, due to being a human being, then these minor things can seem endless tiresome pains in the arse.

I’ve seen a lot recently on social media of people perhaps insinuating that parents don’t appreciate their children enough because some of these people choosing to use a voice. A lot of these posts have nothing to do with appreciating children, nor does it ever come into a parents head that they don’t love or care for their children.

I really do understand that there are people in the world that aren’t fortunate to have children, and I cannot even begin to imagine that heart break, nor would I ever ever intend to offend anyone who couldn’t have children of their own. I don’t even feel that really comes into it when I’m complaining about being tired or fed up that day. However I think what parents are trying to do is let it out, let other parents know its completely ok to not be on the parenting game 1000% of the time, no one is perfect, no one can have a solid instagram worthy day every single day.

I let my child have a lolly as part of his breakfast this morning. Am I proud of that? Of course not, but what I am proud of is the fact that no matter what, I will always be here when they need me, I am raising them the way I believe is right for them, I am trying my best even at my worst, and despite anything that’s thrown in my way, I will ALWAYS put my children first. Surely that’s got to count for something when I’m having a tough day?

Today I took my boys to the park, went to get a cupcake and came home to watch films. Today I had a good day. Don’t get me wrong I still get pretty miffed about the hair grabbing and endless housework, but it isn’t as intensified when you have a good day is it? I will treasure my boys until I am no more, but I will also always let out the odd swear word under my breath when I cant be arsed. Parenthood hey?

Also whilst at the park I managed to take some pretty beautiful (not far off being pinterest worthy, but not quite) photos of these boys of mine, but I want anyone who sees these photos to not be fooled. For these are just happy moments captured in the whirl wind that is my life with my two beautiful yet feisty little boys, who I will love unconditionally even if at 40 I have no hair left!

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Chloe x

 

Our Christmas 2016

I cant believe we’re already in the middle of January! Its taken me so long to finally get around to sorting my photos and footage from Christmas, with all that life entails on a day to day basis!

This year we hosted Christmas at our house as we’ve just had our garage converted to a kitchen/dining room, so we now have more than enough space for both our families to come over which was lovely. I just absolutely love being with the whole family at Christmas, it makes it so special to spend the days with them & the children. Our two are the youngest by quite a bit in our family so I think it brings the magic back into it for everyone!

Finlay is 3 now, and this year he was SO excited about the whole thing. I felt he really started to get an understanding of what was going on & understanding the magic in Christmas. Of course he was super excited about anything to do with the word presents, although he actually loved opening them more than the actual toys? I blame those ridiculous YouTube videos he watches on repeat (does anyone elses child watch people unwrapping kinder eggs by the way? It’s actually a thing!!). This year though, presents aside, he absolutely loved spending so much time with his whole family, he just loves all the attention, people to play with, talk to, he’s very much a family boy & I love to watch it.

Jacob however, as he is still so little didn’t have a clue bless him and is still very much at the give him a cardboard box and he’s done for the day age. Again though it’s so lovely to see him with all the family getting lots of attention and people to play with all the time, I cant wait to see him next year when I think he’ll really begin to get into it all.

As much as I do adore Christmas, I’m always ready at the end of it to begin our New Year with a new outlook & get back into a routine!

Here are our photos from our Christmas, I also managed to vlog our Christmas too!

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Chloe x

2017 GOALS

So its been a long time since I wrote on here, and to be honest last year was just a write off in terms of my blog. We just had so much going on and my blog just had to take a back seat because of it, but I am really determined to stick to it this year as I love the blogging world, it’s just such a good way to talk about life when you need to, and the blogging community has a way of comforting you when you most need it.

So here is my first post of 2017! My list of goals I really want to achieve this year.

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Get Organised!

Since having two little people to look after, my memory has become somewhat filled with everyday thoughts such as did I turn off the iron? which child needs feeding next? where did I put the god damn nappies? (the amount I use them, I really shouldn’t forget the next day where I put them) but I do! Then before I know it I’ve forgotten a probably really important appointment. I actually forgot about Jacobs jabs appointment but blamed it on the husband for taking my car keys with him to work.. So this one really is TOP & I need to get my bum in gear with it!

Commit to my blog

Like I said above, last year was a right off for committing to anything really, so I’m hoping this year will a bit less hectic so that I can really start to commit some time into blogging, I want to grow it, and make it something to be proud of, I want it to be a space to share not just the good things in life, but also the DAILY (minutely) struggles with having a little threenager & 1 year old who is everywhere..

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Have more patience

I hate to admit it, but when it comes to the boys I have zero patience, and I cannot stand it. I love my boys to bits, and they are really good, but lately they’ve gotten on top of me a little and I’ve not been giving them enough time. I really need to play with them more because I can already see how much they are growing and its terrifying, I NEED to spend more quality time with them rather than tidying, being on my phone or whatever else I’m doing. They are my number one and so I need to pull it together and make it more obvious!

Date nights

Now, unfortunately that poor husband of mine lacks any attention from me what so ever, he is absolutely amazing, and I love him beyond words, but I have seriously neglected any attention to him, so we really need to start spending more quality time together, going out for meals just us, which I think I can probably count on one hand the amount of times  we’ve done in the last 14 months.

Be more social

I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been like it since I can remember. When it comes to going anywhere with social interaction, it makes me really anxious, to a point where I seem really up my own, and I’m not in the slightest, but speaking to new people is something that makes me quite anxious, which then I seem to give off a “don’t talk to me” vibe, but I don’t mean it, I would love nothing more than to have a chat with new people, whether it be at soft play, work or even the bloody supermarket!

Get out of the house

Since having Jacob I’ve been a bit housebound when I’m on my own, the thought of going into a public space on my own with both kiddies in tow terrifies me slightly as it can go either way, the pinterest way or the beginning of an apocalypse. Usually the latter at the moment, but I need to keep going and do more things because to be honest my poor boys don’t get out enough, I just need to suck it up and deal with it!

So there are my 6 main goals for 2017, and I really hope I am able to stick to them, I need a bit of good change this year!

Happy New Year!

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Chloe x

WHEN LIFE GETS TOO MUCH.

I haven’t written on my blog for around 2 months now. I have been trying, and wondering, but I just haven’t seemed to be able to get the time, energy, or thoughts together to be able to sit down and write anything. It has felt as though my mind just disappeared for a while. With having two littles, it’s not out of the ordinary to never have the time or energy, but I used to be able to find a little time and enjoy sitting down to write. However over the last couple of months life has been a bit testing and just a little bit rubbish. In March my family lost someone so incredibly special, and it just didn’t feel right to blog at that time. My time was focussed on spending nearly every day with my family, and that’s what it should’ve been, that’s where I felt best, to try and be there with them during that time as much as possible.

However, now we are getting back to a normality, getting back into a routine. With having children, whether it be 1 or 5, you realise their little lives do not stop as it does for a while for everyone around you, they still need to be fed at certain times, go to bed on time, and their demands just don’t stop, because for a while you feel yours does, and that’s fine, that’s how it should be. Of course they don’t understand at such a small age, nor would they ever be expected to. Its been so very hard at times, and ever since that time, I don’t feel I’ve been around as much as I should be, but like I say, somedays getting out of the house is just impossible, which adds to the never ending feeling of life just being a bit too much.

I am really going to keep trying with my blog as I love to keep it as my own little diary, where I can capture snippets of my little familys lives, and watch my littles grow into such lovely and sweet little boys. I really am truly blessed to be their mummy, and despite life being a bit at times cruel (really quite crap), I am extremely lucky and will be forever grateful for everyone and everything I have around me.

Chloe x

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

To the Parent in Tesco I was staring at whilst your child was having ‘a moment’, I was not judging you with my staring, I was quite simply feeling your distress, for just minutes before I too was standing in the large supermarket with a toddler who had just had the most almighty tantrum whilst everyone stared. You are not alone.

To the Parent who looks on many instagram accounts and see’s nothing put perfection and calm. Let me reassure that these photos are just moments captured. The camera does not show the previous dilemma about the wrong episode of Paw Patrol being chosen. You are not alone, I too have asked myself many a time whether it’s just me not keeping it together.

To the Parent who is worrying about her childs minor illness and feels she is overreacting. You are not alone. I too have worried over the smallest things. Its what we do, it’s what we’re supposed to do.

To the Parent whose house hasn’t been tidied for a week or two, and feels like they aren’t juggling life well. You are not alone. My house is so very often upside down and I simply cannot be bothered to do anything about it.

To the Parent whose washing pile is getting so behind it may take you a week of continuous loads. You are not alone. Mine is practically ceiling height.

To the Parent who is awake at 3am feeding feeling as though tomorrow simply wont happen. You are not alone. I too will be awake with you, maybe not in the same house, county or even country, but I can tell you, not only us but many other parents will be too.

To the Parent whose child wont eat anything but biscuits and chocolates. You are not alone. I can promise you it will not last forever, I can promise you that it will not kill them for this short phase.

To the Parent whose toddler point blank refuses bed time on the day you really need some time alone before you yourself head to bed. You are not alone. I have also been sat on the stairs for hours, listening to my toddler list all reasons why he shouldn’t sleep (in baby language).

To the Parent who feels they haven’t played with their child enough that day. You are not alone. Tomorrow is a new day, it wont harm them for today, just take a break.

To the Parent who forgot to bring the wipes/nappy whilst on an outing and of course the child has been to the loo. You are not alone. I have done this many a times, it doesn’t matter, & it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.

To the Parent who has snapped at their child when it was unwarranted. You are not alone. You are only human, these things will happen, it doesn’t make you a bad parent, tomorrow is a new day, and it might be better, but equally it might be worse. Do not beat yourself up, move on and tell yourself it’s ok to have a blip.

There are so many moments in a parents life where they feel unsure of what to do, feel as though they are being judged for the way they parent, or feel just very alone in a situation. The next time you see a parent looking a bit lost or losing it at a situation, please do not judge them. I know it can seem like they are being  bad parent, but you never know what kind of day that person has had, sometimes a parent just needs to know that they are not alone, and are not being judged.

 

Chloe x

Heartbreaking News.

How do you really ever come to terms with the fact a loved one is dying? This week me and my family were faced with the heart wrenching news that my dear grandad didn’t have much longer left with us. I really don’t think there’s anything in the world that can prepare you for news like that. When you’re told someone you love soon wont be here, you can really feel your heart break. I’ve had my fair share of loss throughout the years, and I can say that it never ever gets easier to hear. If anything I feel it worse each time.

I’m a big worrier, but not about myself. About the people around me, and to see them suffer in such a way really knocks it out of me. I hate to see so many people hurting. Nothing compares to hurt you see for someone who is struggling, frightened, and genuinely lost. Seeing your parents upset and hurting is something that will never be easy to see, you question how strong you can be for them, when all of your life they have been the strong ones, but you have to be, you have to be there for them. I have two very small children who of course don’t understand anything is wrong, and rightly so that they shouldn’t see us upset. However that doesn’t make hiding it any easier.

When you’re given such devastating news you begin to question if you were there enough, or if you did enough for that person. There are so many things you go over in your head and question if you should’ve done differently. So many scenarios that sometimes you wish had gone a different way. This week has taught me that life is far too short to continuously worry about the small things. The small things don’t matter in hindsight.

I will be holding my loved ones a little tighter, for a little longer.

Chloe x

My Top Must Have Newborn Products (2nd Time Around)

When I was pregnant with my 2nd son, Jacob, who was born in October, I was extremely anxious about how I was going to juggle my time between two very young little ones! Its hard enough with just one at times, so the thought of having to juggle two really was quite daunting! What would I do when the baby wanted feeding and the toddler wanted food? Who do I go to first? Who holds the newborn whose screaming the house down when I needed to change the toddlers nappy? All these thoughts came around time and time again in my head so I made it my mission to try and find baby products that would help me as much as possible whilst being on my own during the week days.

1. Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Machine

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This product has without a doubt been my absolute favourite Newborn must have! I chose to bottle feed both my little ones from the beginning, but it wasn’t around when Finlay was born, my gosh I physically cannot imagine doing night feeds without it! It takes around two minutes to make a bottle to the perfect temperature! None of that waiting for it to cool malarkey! My only one issue with this product is the beeping, which is rather loud, but still does not take away from what a truly amazing product this is!
We paid around £70-£80 for this but in my opinion is worth every single penny, it’s made life so much easier with how quickly a bottle is made!

2. MAM Self-Sterilising Bottles

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With my first child I used Tommee Tippee everything, and although they are a fantastic brand and my son got on so well with their bottles, I couldn’t help but be attracted to these gorgeous bottles! They are fantastic, have really cute designs and can be sterilised in a microwave in 3 minutes! It’s been so handy if I’ve been completely lazy and forgotten to sterilize a bottle by the time a feed comes a long, I can just add 30ml to the bottom part of the bottle, pop the teat in, screw the body back to the base of the bottle, lay the lid on top, and pop it in for 3 minutes! It’s so much quicker than waiting for an electric sterilizer, and I really only need 2 bottles, so a lot less expense, and super handy if you’re going round someones house for a day!
I picked up the starter kit of the MAM bottles which includes:

  • 2 x Anti-Colic 130ml Bottles
  • 2 x Anti-Colic 160ml Bottles
  • 4 x Anti-Colic Body 260ml
  • 4 x Sealing Discs
  • 1 x Mam Soft Spout
  • 1 x Mam Handle
  • 1 x Mam Start Soother

The set is usually priced around £30, but there are always offers on Amazon and we picked ours up for around £20!

3. Joie Serina 2 in 1 Baby Swing Petite Trees

This is such a gorgeous baby swing, I absolutely love the design, and it has been my 2nd pair of hands in time of need! It’s very neutral and has cute little soft toys hanging for baby to look at, it has 6 different speed settings, 2 vibration options, various musical tunes and sounds to sooth baby, a light, 3 recline positions and the chair swivels so baby can rock forwards or sideways! Its such an amazing chair and so handy to help stop little one crying so I can have some time with my eldest!
We paid around £150 for this item, which is rather pricey, but with all those features, and the value of my sanity at times, its been so so worth it!

 

4. The Gro Company – Gro Snug (Gro Bag/Swaddle)

I am a massive fan of gro bags for little ones to sleep in, they give me lots of piece of mind that no covers will ride up, and they cant get a blanket over their little faces. I really needed a newborn sized one and was on the look out! However when I attended The Baby Show in Birmingham, the Gro Company were putting on a little competition to win one of their lovely Gro Snugs, and I was one of the lucky winners! This little gro bag is so sweet, and not too thick either which is perfect for newborns not to get too hot during the night, the design is very cute, and can be used as unisex although I would say its more boy like colours, but comes in different designs also! The great thing about this Gro Snug is that it can also be used as a swaddle wrap by doing up some poppers where their little arms come through. It’s such a fantastic little design and has been used so much for Jacob!
These are priced at around £22.99

5. Foam Bath Support

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With Finlay I always used a baby bath for the first month or two and although they are really handy to use and save you bending over a big bath, I find them so awkward to fill up and carry around. They are so heavy when full up! I decided to give bathing in the big tub a go, and because I wasn’t sure how I would get on leaning over the bath I decided to go for the cheapest option which was this foam support for £7.99 from mothercare. It has been fantastic, little one doesn’t move at all when laying on it and although I’m obviously there with him, I don’t have to constantly lean in and hold him! For only £7.99 I really cant grumble about it! The only point I would make is that its a bit tricky to get into position to rest baby onto it as it floats about, but once Jacob is laid onto it, it doesn’t move. Bargain!

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