{The Ordinary Moments 16} #9 – My Biggest Boy Is Still So Little.

I’ve not been one yet to dress my boys in the same outfits, mostly because Jacob is still too little to fit into the same clothing as Finlay. I have done it occasionally, and I have to say, they look even cuter (if possible) when they are matching. I know its not for everyone to have their children in matching outfits, and that’s fine, but I love to see them look so similar.

On Saturday me and Jack were lucky enough to have a day out shopping in Norwich all to ourselves! I seriously cant remember the last time I went out shopping for the day completely child free, and although to begin with I was anxious about leaving Jacob, I have to say we had such a lovely day. Not having to worry about the next bottle feed being due, or the fact that the toddler is so bored he’s resorted to face planting on a shop floor until we physically have to drag him to his feet (happens rather a lot).

We were in Next and saw a pair of dungarees in Finlays size! I haven’t seen them in his size for a long time and I just adore children in them, I think they’re the cutest thing, Jacob as a dozen pairs and is basically a constant hillbilly baby, but Finlay has none, cue mummy getting beyond excited!

So this weeks Ordinary Moment is seeing my two little boys in their dungarees for the day. My two babies. Fin is growing far too fast, and ever since Jacob was born it’s become even more apparent, but seeing him in his little dungarees just gave me a little glimpse, a little reminder that my biggest boy, is still so very much a little boy, my little boy, in his little dungarees, telling me he wants ‘choc’ and that ‘ruub’ (Rubble) from Paw Patrol is quite honestly the best thing that was ever created in the whole entire world. So innocent.

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Chloe x

 

{The Ordinary Moments 16} #7 – A NOT SO ORDINARY WEEK.

I have previously written about the past week and the difficulties in it, but I don’t feel I could really write about anything else this week, as it’s been pretty focused around some awful news we were given about my grandad. Over the last week we’ve felt so many emotions and have gone from a quick hospital stay for him, to being given just weeks left with him. News like this just stops life for a while.

What do you do with news like this? I know life can’t stop, because I have two very young children who don’t understand if mummy is acting a little off, and therefore I just need to carry on as normal, and somedays its easier to do that, but then other days, well, they really are quite daunting. I’m struggling to see my family go through such heartbreak, and I’ve really been trying to see them much more than previously, which is quite awful to say really. I know it shouldn’t take something so awful as this to make you realise you haven’t been around much, but life has very much been quite hectic, and with having younger ones sometimes its not so easy to do that.

So this week has been very out of the ordinary, and so will the coming weeks, sometimes writing it down helps with these heart breaking moments. My main focus at the moment is to be there, and spend whatever time I can with a man who so selflessly loves all of his family so open heartedly. Time is so precious.

 

Chloe x

{The Ordinary Moments 16} #7 – The Toddler Silence

Life with a two year old and a 4 month old is far from calm most of the time, and it’s definitely far from quiet! Days are often filled with endless babbling, screaming, laughter, crying and general noise! Which in all honesty is the way I like it, I couldn’t imagine having a calm and quiet house, which brings me to my point of ‘Toddler Silence’.

Now we all know, it’s extremely rare in a household that involves a toddler to have silence, and if there is silence, this normally sends us into a bit of a panic, the unknown of what could be lurking in the next room with the silent toddler. Is he ok? What has he broken? What has he drawn on? Is the room even still standing? It just amazes me what a toddler can do in a few minutes of silence, I honestly believe they have some super powers with speed, it’s unreal!

So one morning this week, we were doing our usual wake up routine, Jack will get Finlay out of bed whilst I feed Jacob in our room, and then when I’m done we head downstairs to start our day. However on this day, just after I’d finished feeding Jacob I was met with a realisation that I hadn’t heard my toddler for a good few minutes, and so this must’ve meant that 1. (The unlikely) that he was just playing nicely, or 2. (The most definite) that he was up to something.

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Not only had my silent toddler managed to trash the nursery, he had managed to sneak out of my room with Jacobs formula and proceed to use it as an indoor sandpit!

Although there is no doubt that these times make you feel like the day is just going to be so bad that you might as well go back to bed, they are also precious, hilarious moments that you really never want to forget, because before I know it, he won’t be the silent mischievous toddler, he will be grown up, and I won’t have these little moments to hold onto.

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{The Ordinary Moments 16} #6 – The Start Of Real Independence

There is no stopping this time in every parents life. As much as most of us often will for the time to come around, so we are able to have an afternoon of peace, and will for them to socialise with others as it is so nice for them to make little friends and begin to socialise in the big world. However, when that time comes, its too quick. Where did my baby go? What if I don’t want an afternoon of peace? What will I do without the afternoon of laughter, making his lunch, and watching cars on repeat? I quite simply don’t want someone else to make his lunch, share his laughter, and make new memories that don’t involve us. But they have to. They have to grow up, and this week, I got my very first glimpse of that.

It’s the complete norm for them to go to Nursery and of course I wouldn’t have that any other way, I of course want him to grow up and make new friends and memories, and gain that independence for himself, but to me its feels so very abnormal. I just cant get my head around him not being here some afternoons, and I feel very anxious about what are essentially strangers looking after my baby, I know he’ll be perfectly safe, but what if he just wants mummy or daddy when he’s upset?

We viewed a lovely Nursery very local to us this week, and it was fantastic, Finlay took to it straight away, and began playing with the other children, and to quite honest, didn’t look back! I felt comfortable because I could see just how happy and ready he is to start this new little chapter in his life. As he was playing away with another child, for a second he stopped, looked up at us, and gave us a little wave, as if to say “Look at me mummy!”, I got all teary eyed and just felt so proud. My little boy is growing up, and I just couldn’t be happier for him. So until September comes around, I really am going to make the most of my days with him.

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{The Ordinary Moments 16} #5 -A Tough One

I love these posts so much because I am able to write down all the little special moments in our lives, and remember them when my little babies are all grown up and no longer want mummy all the time. However, with all the special memories we create, I will make no illusion to say there are no tough times. There are, and they happen frequently, after all, I am a mummy to two boys under 3, and although I feel that dealing with a newborn is rather easy, when you mix it in with a toddler, it becomes less so.

This week has been difficult. Really difficult. I feel like I hit a brick wall of exhaustion this week that has just smothered me, and made me lose all motivation. My house is a mess, I’ve not been very patient, I’ve not been very playful, and just generally entered the ‘bad mothering’ zone. I don’t really know why, I think it’s just a mixture of running after a toddler who is going through a challenging stage. I’m a worrier, and Finlay has been going through a ‘terrible twos’ stage, and everything I say or do he just completely ignores. He climbs everything, and is really into throwing. I’m just so fed up with telling him off, and I worry I have made him this way? Is this my fault? Maybe I don’t play with him as much as I should, tell him off too much, don’t explain things well enough, lose my patience far too easily, don’t laugh as much as I should, am on my phone too often. All these things just go around in my head, and I’m really finding it difficult, and this week has just felt like one massive fail.

I know it will get easier, and as the days go on I will pick myself back out of this horrid mood I’m in. I’m so blessed to have two beautiful boys who I adore more than anything, but sometimes you fall down a little. I am really hoping I will find this week a little easier, and enjoy it a bit more.

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{The Ordinary Moments 16} #4 – Favourites

Ever since Finlay could properly watch TV we’ve gone through different stages of liking different programmes. I’ve never had a problem with Finlay watching TV or playing on the iPad. I know a lot of people don’t like it or only in moderation which I can completely understand and respect. Personally for us, the TV is always on, he loves to watch Disney Junior and watch films and I don’t mind admitting that he does watch it a lot, he’s not glued to it all day, but it’s always on for him to watch.

I can remember his first favourite TV programme was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He was obsessed with Mickey and would get so excited about anything to do with him. We had endless amounts of Mickey teddys, toys, clothes and books. I Just find it so sweet for him to have these little characters which he absolutely adores, which then leads me on to this weeks Ordinary Moment.

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One of Jacks favourite Disney films was Toy Story, and it’s safe to say he’s been watching it with Finlay for a long time in the hope that one day he would love it just like he did, even from when he was a tiny baby we would dress him in cute little Woody and Buzz clothes and have always showed him them in the Disney Store which we are massive fans of! He first got into Toy Story a while ago and always demands for me to put it on, we easily watch it twice a day, but lately the love for it has just grown, its by far his favourite film, and for Christmas we bought him both Buzz and Woody, reluctantly as we thought he was a bit young for them, but we couldn’t have been more wrong.

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Buzz especially is absolutely glued to his side each and everyday, and he now even takes them both up to bed with him. It just melts my heart, to see him bond with something like his little toys, they have become a comfort, a little friend, that he chatters away to all day, that he demands share every memory he makes, and to see him laying in bed all tucked up and zonked, with Buzz tucked up just beside him is something that is almost too cute to handle. I just love how something so simple and small, can be such a massive thing in a toddlers eyes, it just completely emphasises the innocence in him and I just never ever want that to go away, although I know it will, its these little memories and phases that are just so special to me.

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{The Ordinary Moments 16} #3 – Our Ordinary

I don’t know about anyone else but as soon as one person becomes poorly in our household, it’s suddenly just a downwards spiral until we have all been taken down by the lurgy! This time I was first, then Jack, and now Fin. When you’re poorly the last thing you want to do is have to run around after the hyper toddler, and meet the demands of a baby. It’s tough enough when you’re at your best, let alone when you feel you cant physically look after yourself!

Which is why we are so lucky to have such supportive parents, and both sets offered to have one child each for the night! Fin went to Jacks parents and Jacob went to mine. We were so grateful and I felt so much better for one day not having to worry about endless nappy changes, bottles, lunches, dinners, having to constantly tell the toddler to get off of the windowsill (atleast 10 times a day). Instead we were able to just lay on the sofa and catch up on rubbish TV, I even managed to have a bath at about 6pm!! Unheard of! It was just nice to relax.

However as much as not having the children around is nice at times, especially when you’re ill. Its quiet, too quiet. There is just something about having children in the house that suddenly makes it become a home. Yes, my house becomes a playground, and the show home I would like, is more to the standard of a grubby looking soft play area, but its my home, our home. It’s a place filled with memories such as first steps, first words, first smiles. Although the idea of sitting on my sofa watching Netflix is beyond a dream, where’s the meaning? Where’s my reason? My washing pile is never ending, it overflows daily, but where would I be without getting my babies into their adorable little pyjamas and co-ordinating outfits each day? My walls would be crisp, and the paint would never be scratched, my carpets would be the same colour as the day they were fitted, and I wouldn’t have to dodge bath toys during my relaxing bath. But I like the red stains on my wall from my toddler driving his cars up and down it, I like the little stain from where my toddler decides chocolate hand prints would look really good there, and I like that I stare at bath toys in my relaxing bath because I see his face, the face of wonder and innocence, the face that learns from everything he touches, the face of pure happiness.

A break is more than welcomed from time to time, but each time it happens, I miss them. Although they are only gone for one night, my home becomes just a house, the meaning in my day suddenly becomes irrelevant, and that’s when you realise what being a parent is. They are my reason, and although our house, and our family are just like any other ordinary family. It is our ordinary, and to me that makes them so wonderfully extraordinary.

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